Much Farther To Go

I am an emotional writer. I always have been. I get really passionate (read:emotional) about something, and I feel I need to get it out. If it’s too personal, you can bet I’ve written about it in a journal somewhere. So that usually means no one sees it. Then, a few hours later, I’ve recovered, I’m back on an even keel. I’d self diagnose bipolar, but I never get as happy as I do depressed. I’ve kind of changed my mind about being unhappy though. There are things that I let myself be unhappy about, because I can do something about them,but then there are the things I can’t allow myself to be unhappy about anymore. I can’t do this anymore, you know? It’s 2:30AM. I don’t like early morning going-mental sessions. Especially when I don’t have Dave online to rant to. I don’t really remember what compelled me to stay up any later in the first place, I was falling asleep in Tim Horton’s at 9 this evening.

Oh, that does mean I’m in hometown. I let my mom come in and bring me back I’m seriously considering getting rid of my car. Yes, as soon as the weather’s nice, it’ll be fine, it’ll all be perfect and my car will run great. But, I’ve gotten on without it. I’ve even bussed to Superstore on a Sunday afternoon (when there are virtually no busses running) I’m spending the summer here (there) and if my job is conveniently located, I will have no need for this…sunchicken. There’s a thought of happiness, a job. As long as it’s not menial, I may have found another balancing factor in my life. So really, once again, I’ve run out of steam. And hopefully…will fall right to sleep…