Much Farther To Go

Hiya. WordPress seems to have gotten their shiz together, so there’s really no excuse for not writing. And I always hate forgetting what’s gone on, and I wish I were better at this. What I’ve tried to write these past few days (and subsequently was lost in the land between firefox refreshes) is that I’m over it. I’m not unhappy. But neither do I accept my life. I’m not where I want to be, and I have to come to the conclusion that if I want it to change, I’m the one who needs to do something, even if that something is wait! There’s also no need to be miserable in the meantime. There’s nothing wrong with my life as it is. Worrying is crap and it gets me no where, so I’ve decided not to.

I may just be coming off this…high resulting from getting a good mark on an important assignment, doing okay (I think) on a midterm, and new found determination in finding my life doesn’t have to be what I thought it would be. I am coming to realize that other people’s lives don’t have to be mine. I don’t see other people’s lives and become jealous, rather I see what I don’t have and wonder if what they have would even make me happy. And for now, I’d have to say no. I’m finding my own way, and as cliche as that sounds I’m starting to actually believe it. These past few months (and I say it like that this time because I believe I am actually now putting it behind me) have been eye opening. A complete reassessment even. This was a news story on BBC today. I think this may have been really good for me. I don’t believe I was ever clinically depressed, but I was probably borderline SAD. So, I think I’ll go get some sunshine, even though there’s glorious snow falling

On the way to the bus stop the other day…stomping on freshly fallen snow.