Much Farther To Go

a calm shade of azure blue. I don’t know where that thought came from, but earlier this week, either after my first or second interview, I started getting this strange strange feeling. It felt a lot like hope. Now, I know I’m not exactly one of those people that sees colour when they hear music, but songs are particular shades with particular feelings. Anyway, nothing to do with music, but I was feeling this thing, it was blue, kind of lightly shimmery, and warm, a comforting sort of warm. The kind that comes from the sun rather than from a space heater (from which I am all too familiar). I don’t like that good things have to happen to me before I feel good, but maybe that’s just life. It’s feeling like I did great at job interviews, it’s looking forward to vacationing next Christmas, it’s a really good mate saying that when he comes to Canada, he’ll come live wherever I am.

I was able to talk to my English flatmate on skype a little while ago. It seriously made my day. It was so weird to see that little house. I would give ANYTHING to be sitting in that living room sipping tea (or wine! loads of wine!) and listening to what happened to her today. When I talk to people from over there, they don’t find it unbelievable that I’d make my way over there for post-grad stuff or work. Here they just can’t believe it. I’ve always taken huge issue with people not believing in me. It may be because I’ve never questioned what I wanted. I always figured I wanted something because well…I wanted it.