Much Farther To Go

Well, I’ve been studying for a few days straight now (er, job interview, re-visiting job place, facebook, coffee and bad girls breaks notwithstanding). And now I’m giving up for the night, because I’ve struggled to get anywhere with this retarded ethics studying (and I feel justified using that word because one of the articles from the 50’s used it non-ironically) and have spent a while on msn now, which has given me a bit of a headache. Sometimes I just don’t know where my head is at, or where it’s going.

But I care a little less now, because, big news, I have A Job. Yes, a proper Job. Well, maybe not proper cuz it’s still a summer student job. But I am faaairly proud of myself. Thank god for FSWEP. All those interviews and subsequent disappointments. I hate to say it, but they were worth getting to this point. I didn’t have a claim on any of those jobs. I just saw they were advertised, and went for ‘em. If anything, I got a lot lot of interview experience, and some feedback, when I remembered to ask for it. And voila, I am now an employee of the federal government. (can i get a woot?) And they told me my last employer gave me a great reference, which made my day even further. (don’t know if it actually mattered to my job-getting, I wrote their test, I answered their questions perfectly!) I arrived home to a message from the…second last? I believe, place to reject me. To do with a job ‘opportunity’. I am further self-satisfied. I move in a week. I am quite keen on the halved rent, the walls and door, all of it. (and the halved number of roomies, still love you kids)

So, I kind of do this thing, sometimes, when I’m desperate, to calm my head. I bargain with God. Yeah, the dude I’m not sure listens to me. I don’t know why I do it, I’ve always done it. So, Jen got the job, I think this means Jen’s going to church this Sunday. Funniest thought that when through my head about that? Oh! I’ll buy a new outfit! So this bargaining makes me feel like now I’ve done all I can, I relax a little, let fate work it’s magic, because there’s nothing more i can do. Not that my little mental blip was -something- but it eases my mind. I was having deeper thoughts about this earlier, but my mental state is NOT 100% at the moment. I cannot WAIT until Saturday, depending on what happens, I think God’ll forgive me if I can’t get out of bed Sunday and leave it til the next weekend