Much Farther To Go

I am here. I am in Winkler. I trip over the word ‘home’ now like I never used to. Because even as now I’m surer than ever I don’t mean it, I don’t want to offend. Plus, this does make me homeless. Or attached to a place (Winnipeg? Canada?) that it would be in my best future interest not to leave. Does that make me a prisoner? Either way, I have to serve my time.

Work has been good for my soul. Even though I haven’t technically been earning my keep, I know eventually I will, and the effect is the same. I leave my house for 9-11 hours, depending on activity, and I am wiped out at the end of the day. I noticed yesterday as I was falling asleep, that the days have begun to blur together. Less so than they would be if I was constantly constantly busy, but I really can’t distinguish one day from another. I know I’ve always been a bit like that, forgetting what I did yesterday, especially if it was exactly what I’ve been doing most days previous. But is this what life is? Where the moment you’re living now is the most important thing in your life, but previous replicas of this moment are gone forever into oblivion?

And I’m already caught up the night’s facebook happenings. If the summer keeps up this way, I will be an avid, avid blogger. Not that I think I’m actually generating real content, but still. Gives you something to read, innit? I’ve added to my repertoire, as I have burnt a CD this morning of Stars, their new stuff plus a few of their old. So should be good for a while. I definitely plan on getting my speakers from home, so I’ll have 600 songs to listen to, rather than the same 60.

OH, I went to a fitness class yesterday after work, and our instructor was like…Clay Aiken with a german accent. Amusing, to say the least. It was a step class, something I thought I wasn’t too bad at. He tried teaching us some fancy mambo move with lots of steps on the floor, and as I always watch everyone but myself, it made me feel better about the fact that no one else was getting it right either. I was just sort of shuffling side to side with the occasional step onto the step. Poor guy, didn’t seem all that impressed with our lack of grace. One of the more ridiculous moments of my life. At least I wasn’t the only one who fell off their step! woo! And sadly, even after all my inactivity, my knee still feels fucked up